![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lillilahAs mentioned previously, I have been having both good and bad effects from taking phosphatidyl serine. The good effects are that my background perception of stress is gone. I don't feel constantly anxious and don't have constant jolts of anxiety for no reason. The downside is that I have been much more dizzy, have had more muscle weakness, and have had more blood sugar instability. After trying a zillion different possible solutions, the answer seems to be that I need more carbs. While that sounds simple enough, it turns out to be based on complex biochemistry.
Here are my thoughts on what is going on. I am not an expert, and I have brain damage that makes reading difficult. So, there could be errors in my analysis.
History:
Almost fifteen years ago, I was given the drug mefloquine during my Peace Corps service. This drug is known for causing long-term psychiatric problems, vision problems, dizziness, and suicide. Because of family and my personal medical history, I am highly at risk for side effects from this drug, and if the Peace Corps doctors weren't lying, incompetent assholes, I would never been given it or would have known that it would be dangerous for me to take. I have a variety of long term problems from this drug, including problems with insulin (see this study for the reason).
I have been diagnosed with diabetes by two different Russian endocrinologists. My blood sugar, when I was eating carbs, was often very low or very high, especially when under stress. Since then, I have been able to mostly control my blood sugar with a low carb diet. I found ketogenic diets unsustainable and ended up eating 50 grams of carbohydrates a day, after discovering that 35 grams was too little and 60 grams was too much. Testing has shown that my blood sugar level is stable, but my insulin level is too low when fasting and my overall ability to produce insulin isn't good. A glucose tolerance test showed my insulin going from very low when fasting to excessively high after having eaten a bunch of carbs. An unintentional glucose tolerance test (I ate a lot of dates, and it was bad) showed a perfect representation of what reactive hypoglycemia looks like (blood sugar shot up very very high, after four hours plunged down very low, and finally returned to normal after I felt like I was going to die).
Since I began the low carb diet, my blood tests have consistently shown this pattern of low insulin and low ability to produce insulin. They have also shown high levels of cortisol. Nothing changed in test after test (except that my cortisol went up). In this most recent set of blood tests, my cortisol is still very high, but not as high as the previous test. My insulin level is up from the worst readings but not higher than the previous reading. (Note: this was after no having taken any PS in over 12 hours.)
So, what does this all mean?
What we know:
Cortisol suppresses insulin production, which causes high blood sugar, which leads to increased insulin production, which leads to insulin resistance. PS (it seems) helps the brain regulate the production of cortisol.
My guesses:
I have mostly handled the insulin resistance part of the cortisol problem with the low carb diet. If PS is helping with the regulation of cortisol, then it could explain why my body is behaving like I have more insulin. However, since the effect of the PS is at this point short-lived, it could mean that when it starts wearing off, my insulin levels get screwed up, which could be why I'm seeing such unstable blood sugar levels.
I have a vague memory of having dizziness when I started the low carb diet, which ultimately turned out to be due to not enough carbs. This seems to be the problem now also. It would make sense that my required carb level has changed if PS is helping with my cortisol (which would stop suppressing my insulin production).
The only evidence for this (besides how I feel) is that yesterday after eating lunch, my blood sugar was below normal. As seen previously, my insulin reaction is/was severely delayed, so it shouldn't have been able to be low, as there previously was little insulin to suck up that glucose.
What to do:
I have increased my carb consumption to 65 grams a day. I have tried to avoid eating things that are excessively sweet, although I did have 10 grams (a square) of very dark (85%) chocolate. It helped immensely.
I will have a better idea when I get my next batch of blood tests in three months what the story is with my insulin and ability to produce insulin. However, as I am already having some anxiety seeping in (and terrible nightmares), it looks like it is time to increase the PS again. I am taking 200 mg per day right now. The usual dose seems to be about 300, and a study I saw started with 400 mg as the lowest dosage. This increase will be fine, but I think that unless something else changes, I will have to take PS for the rest of my life.
Why do I think that? About 8 years ago, my background level of anxiety was pretty good. At the time, my main protein was soy protein isolate. (PS is made from soy.) Eventually, I started having problems with tiredness (either from the soy or from blood sugar issues, which I knew nothing about). When I stopped the soy, the background level of anxiety eventually returned. So, I think the PS will have effects only so long as I take it.
Previously, I have found that vitamin C helps with my nightmares. I have had negative mental health side effects from eating 60 grams of carbs a day previously, so I'm guessing that the nightmares are related to the carbs. Hopefully, vitamin C will help with that.
Additional comments:
Sadly, as was the case 8 years ago, the relief from background anxiety is not the same as relief from all anxiety. Likewise, it is not a solution for whatever else is wrong with me. I have done a really good job pushing back the boundaries of what I am capable of doing. However, for quite a while now, I have been able to feel that those boundaries aren't moving any further. This may change, but for the moment, I am doing all I can do. Accepting your limits is really important. I'm working on it.
Here are my thoughts on what is going on. I am not an expert, and I have brain damage that makes reading difficult. So, there could be errors in my analysis.
History:
Almost fifteen years ago, I was given the drug mefloquine during my Peace Corps service. This drug is known for causing long-term psychiatric problems, vision problems, dizziness, and suicide. Because of family and my personal medical history, I am highly at risk for side effects from this drug, and if the Peace Corps doctors weren't lying, incompetent assholes, I would never been given it or would have known that it would be dangerous for me to take. I have a variety of long term problems from this drug, including problems with insulin (see this study for the reason).
I have been diagnosed with diabetes by two different Russian endocrinologists. My blood sugar, when I was eating carbs, was often very low or very high, especially when under stress. Since then, I have been able to mostly control my blood sugar with a low carb diet. I found ketogenic diets unsustainable and ended up eating 50 grams of carbohydrates a day, after discovering that 35 grams was too little and 60 grams was too much. Testing has shown that my blood sugar level is stable, but my insulin level is too low when fasting and my overall ability to produce insulin isn't good. A glucose tolerance test showed my insulin going from very low when fasting to excessively high after having eaten a bunch of carbs. An unintentional glucose tolerance test (I ate a lot of dates, and it was bad) showed a perfect representation of what reactive hypoglycemia looks like (blood sugar shot up very very high, after four hours plunged down very low, and finally returned to normal after I felt like I was going to die).
Since I began the low carb diet, my blood tests have consistently shown this pattern of low insulin and low ability to produce insulin. They have also shown high levels of cortisol. Nothing changed in test after test (except that my cortisol went up). In this most recent set of blood tests, my cortisol is still very high, but not as high as the previous test. My insulin level is up from the worst readings but not higher than the previous reading. (Note: this was after no having taken any PS in over 12 hours.)
So, what does this all mean?
What we know:
Cortisol suppresses insulin production, which causes high blood sugar, which leads to increased insulin production, which leads to insulin resistance. PS (it seems) helps the brain regulate the production of cortisol.
My guesses:
I have mostly handled the insulin resistance part of the cortisol problem with the low carb diet. If PS is helping with the regulation of cortisol, then it could explain why my body is behaving like I have more insulin. However, since the effect of the PS is at this point short-lived, it could mean that when it starts wearing off, my insulin levels get screwed up, which could be why I'm seeing such unstable blood sugar levels.
I have a vague memory of having dizziness when I started the low carb diet, which ultimately turned out to be due to not enough carbs. This seems to be the problem now also. It would make sense that my required carb level has changed if PS is helping with my cortisol (which would stop suppressing my insulin production).
The only evidence for this (besides how I feel) is that yesterday after eating lunch, my blood sugar was below normal. As seen previously, my insulin reaction is/was severely delayed, so it shouldn't have been able to be low, as there previously was little insulin to suck up that glucose.
What to do:
I have increased my carb consumption to 65 grams a day. I have tried to avoid eating things that are excessively sweet, although I did have 10 grams (a square) of very dark (85%) chocolate. It helped immensely.
I will have a better idea when I get my next batch of blood tests in three months what the story is with my insulin and ability to produce insulin. However, as I am already having some anxiety seeping in (and terrible nightmares), it looks like it is time to increase the PS again. I am taking 200 mg per day right now. The usual dose seems to be about 300, and a study I saw started with 400 mg as the lowest dosage. This increase will be fine, but I think that unless something else changes, I will have to take PS for the rest of my life.
Why do I think that? About 8 years ago, my background level of anxiety was pretty good. At the time, my main protein was soy protein isolate. (PS is made from soy.) Eventually, I started having problems with tiredness (either from the soy or from blood sugar issues, which I knew nothing about). When I stopped the soy, the background level of anxiety eventually returned. So, I think the PS will have effects only so long as I take it.
Previously, I have found that vitamin C helps with my nightmares. I have had negative mental health side effects from eating 60 grams of carbs a day previously, so I'm guessing that the nightmares are related to the carbs. Hopefully, vitamin C will help with that.
Additional comments:
Sadly, as was the case 8 years ago, the relief from background anxiety is not the same as relief from all anxiety. Likewise, it is not a solution for whatever else is wrong with me. I have done a really good job pushing back the boundaries of what I am capable of doing. However, for quite a while now, I have been able to feel that those boundaries aren't moving any further. This may change, but for the moment, I am doing all I can do. Accepting your limits is really important. I'm working on it.
